By Lipa Rath

Jan 21 2026

The Twin Flame Journey- Masculine and Feminine balance

 

This is my beautiful mommy. She left us too early. My eldest sister was 10, my middle sister 8 and I was only 2 years old.

 

The doctors diagnosed her condition as leukaemia- cancer of the blood cells. She lived 3 days after the diagnosis, and my father, being a doctor never got the chance to treat her illness.

 

It was only after doing my QHHT work that my mom started connecting with me from the other side.

 

I had no memory of her so I never really felt her absence. But in a session she came and said very softly, “Lipa, I left you when you were very young. Will you forgive me?” Wow 😮 that was so sweet and so unexpected!

 

After spending years in healing work and understanding how our emotions, thoughts and bodies create health and disease, I was deeply curious why my mother created cancer in her body and found an exit route to leave.

 

My mom was ahead of her time. She loved beautiful things and was very creative with the way she nurtured her extended family. She loved cooking, plating and serving for the joint family she lived with. Some people still talk about her signature dish- snowball pudding. This was long before Internet era.

 

She wasn’t an aggressive person at all, neither was she a people pleaser. She was kind and generous but very straight forward which made a lot of people uncomfortable with her honesty.

 

She loved dressing up too, which was considered “too much” for her time. She secretly followed some of the iconic Bollywood stars of her time, like Waheeda Rehman, Nutan, Meena Kumari, and all. But kept her fashion sense to herself- never like a wannabe.

 

She wanted her children to be disciplined and well behaved and she dressed them sharply.

 

My dad secretly felt very lucky to be her husband and supported her. He gave his full salary to her to run the show. It wasn’t a small household- unexpected guests arrived just before lunch or dinner time. They had to be fed.

 

She was very exhausted from serving- but that was what most women did in her time- take care of the entire house hold and be happy.

 

But she wasn’t happy. I couldn’t understand why. My aunts were in awe of her. Everyone I have known spoke highly of her presence.

 

My father wouldn’t speak much about our mom except that they loved each other a lot. He said that the cancer had already spread when they found out and there was nothing he could do to save her life.

 

Unworthiness: My dad respected my mom no doubt, but he didn’t know how to honour her. He perhaps felt if he truly appreciated her for who she was, he would have made himself vulnerable. That scared the man in him – what if he couldn’t handle her? What if she became too powerful and controlled him? It’s dangerous… what if she abandoned him?

 

So he just kept himself busy and tried to keep her occupied with pearls, silk saris and French perfume- thinking he had done his part and she “should” be happy with her possessions. He found his work a very good excuse to run away from her radiance. So he kept a comfortable silence that worked like an “armour guard” and thought that he would be safe that way.

 

The Abandonment: Ultimately the very thing he was really scared came true – she abandoned him. She felt her presence was taken too much for granted. Yet she was too proud and dignified to say ‘you didn’t really appreciate me for who I have been”. Her pride was deeply hurt, which eventually turned into anger and resentment. Then, cancer became the physical manifestation of all those unresolved feelings over the years.

 

Her soul was so hurt that she didn’t even allow him to do any treatment for her. “You don’t deserve me- my presence. It’s time for me to leave you to your circumstances.”

 

My dad lived the rest of his life missing her and living in her honour. He tried to help every relative of my mom. He was very fond of non vegetarian food but he gave up after her passing- didn’t want to indulge in food too much. His hobbies, gardening and photography didn’t really matter to him anymore.

 

He was blessed with money, social status and respect from everyone around him. But his personal life was dreadfully dry and arid- every Diwali or on special occasions I could see the lump in his throat, knowing he really didn’t know how to honour a woman of my mother’s calibre. If he had known and acted on it then she would have outlived him.

 

He should have never kept his armour on, he didn’t have to live with the void now, heavy with unspoken grief and regret.

 

The masculine tries to keep things under his control- so that he never gets hurt or vulnerable. But it’s the very vulnerability allows him to honour and worship the feminine and dance with the joy of divine creation.

 

The concept of worshiping a woman was not in my dad’s patriarchal lexicon. Nonetheless, it was not uncommon in his timeline. There were men who really looked up to their wives for direction and deeply trusted their intuitive guidance.

 

Emotional Literacy– the masculine is here to learn about emotions- that emotions are not problems to solve but information to feel- that sadness is not weakness, that fear is not failure and anger isn’t dangerous when expressed consciously.

 

Unfortunately my father couldn’t fathom this fact when my mother was still alive. He came to terms with it much later, after decades, that strength doesn’t mean control, safety doesn’t mean emotional distance. Then he allowed himself to weep when no one saw him.

 

Indeed, that truly was his spiritual initiation. His life changed when he embraced his brokenness and his imperfections. The money, social status and what others thought of him were not his real life. They were his persona, almost like a prison that he was living with emptiness.

 

Finally, he came to terms with his own vulnerability and felt safe. It became the most natural and normal feeling. A blanket of peace gathered him in a soft embrace- he now no longer felt abandoned.

 

Vulnerability isn’t a weakness. It’s courage. By opening his heart he didn’t lose anything valuable instead he found himself.

 

Sovereignty Dishonoured: But when the fearlessly embodied Venusian feminine is not fully honoured- she doesn’t feel seen or heard by her masculine counterpart for being who she is – she leaves him behind and moves on. Because she is a queen- she would rather die than allow herself to be dishonoured.

 

In those times a woman having a voice to protect her dignity and boundaries was considered egoistic. Self respect and self dignity were labelled as arrogance because it was too sovereign a concept, even now.

 

Although Goddesses were worshipped in our home, the woman in the house who is an aspect of Goddess Lalita Tripura Sundari was completely ignored, not on purpose but out of habit from the past that focused on survival only. 

 

But truly, who is dead? She is right here with me, reminding me to honour myself, to value my worthiness:

 

“No matter where you are do not give away your energy to others who don’t appreciate your presence. When you walk away they appreciate your value.”

 

“Whether it is an intimate relationship or a personal connection don’t linger and be disrespected. When you walk away to protect your dignity you are healing your entire feminine lineage.”

 

“But when you leave do not carry the hurt with you. Let go and be free to soar above pain – you will always have better choices. The universe will open doors for greater opportunities that matches your standards. Choose yourself first. 💖”

————–

 

Lipa Rath

QHHT Level 3 Practitioner

liparath@gmail.com