By Lipa Rath

Dec 21 2025

Sarcasm often runs deep within our human consciousness. Many of us carry it with pride. Because it makes us sound very funny or witty in conversations. And hence it keeps running through generations, through families, until something deeply disturbing happens that we are forced to look inward.

My client is a gifted makeup artist from Mumbai. He said he found out that his wife was cheating on him. Going through her chats he discovered that he had met that “other man” at parties and that devastated him.

He felt betrayed and angry at the situation. After years of dating he had finally settled down with her. He was in no mood to find another partner. He felt betrayed as he always encouraged her to do everything she wanted: offering to be with the children while she travelled for work, and taking care of her relatives when they wanted his help and much more.

During the interview segment as we were talking I asked him about his childhood and where he grew up, what did the parents do, etc. And then I came to the most important question: How did your parents treat each other?

This was the moment the deeper layers began to unfold.

He said both his parents worked- mom in the bank and dad at the university. They are still together. They love one another. Then, almost casually, he smirked and added that they were constantly pulling each other’s leg, exchanging sarcastic jabs and passing snide remarks back and forth.

He paused and said, “That’s normal in every family, isn’t it?”

Yes, for a person who has seen this kind of relationship from childhood, it is normal for him.

As we explored this more deeply—what it feels like to be on the receiving end of sarcasm, and how one learns to move through it—he began to recognise that it isn’t a gentle or loving way to relate. It had felt normal to him only because it was repetitive, looping itself into his everyday experience. Over time, what was once sharp began to feel non-threatening, and so he quietly labelled it as “normal,” without ever questioning its impact.

Now the adult was seeing where the child in him accepted it as normal and has been using the same sarcasm in every interaction with his wife. No matter how loving and kind he was in his actions, the sarcastic remarks were darts in his kindness. He wasn’t aware of that. This was the red flag and an “aha” moment.

We dived deep and saw how this very “seemingly harmless” habit can perpetuate and become a “normal thing” for his children and then how detrimental it would be to the children’s relationship with their future partners.

That was the turning point. How strong that “sarcastic” groove was within his own consciousness, it had become like second nature.

The SC said, “The discussion he had (during the interview segment) was very important for him to know what has been going on. He is here to respect women. That’s his learning from this current situation.”

As we sat down to wrap up the session, he understood that he was taking his partnership with his wife for granted, exactly as his parents did. The parents never sat down to talk about what was hurting, yet had unspoken expectations from each other that often came through sarcasm. He was only unconsciously mirroring this pattern from his parents’ life into his own.

This was the habit pattern he needed to stop. He realised he needed to have mature conversations and create respectful boundaries for himself and his wife. He understood that perhaps his mother felt she had no options but to live with his father. Times have changed now, and his wife has choices – she cannot be taken for granted.

The session gave clarity and showed him the deeply hidden generational patterns that he was unconsciously repeating. It revealed the red flags that he had normalised. Shaming his wife and becoming too righteous is no longer sustainable if he wants this relationship to work.

A couple of months after the session he messaged thanking me for the session.

He said he and his wife have been seeing a marriage counsellor and learning how to bring back peace, structure and understanding into the relationship. He said if he had not had a QHHT session and just went to a marriage counselor, it would have been like putting a bandaid on a deep wound.

But, having the session he understood at a deeper level the harmful tendencies within his own consciousness – and just by being aware of his patterns he has healed himself and is no longer quick to judge others.
He wrote – “As I meditate more often and see myself as a soul my male ego has stepped back and so has restlessness – there’s a lot of peace within me. I honour myself more and I notice someone having a lot more regard and respect for me. Thank you once again.”

——–

Lipa Rath, QHHT L-3 Practitioner
Order of Dolores Cannon
liparath@gmail.com